\u201cDad, some older kids at school showed my something I don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Dad asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA video on a phone. A man and a woman were… were making weird sounds and\u2026 and they hardly had any clothes on!\u201d the boy exclaimed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad had to pause for a minute and take a deep breath. He didn\u2019t want to react angrily. After all, his son had trusted him enough to bring up a very difficult topic. He hadn\u2019t wanted his son to be exposed to that<\/em> by irresponsible classmates for the first time, but these things happen. He calmed himself and sat down at the table, motioning for his son to do the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI need to be honest with you son, I wasn\u2019t prepared to have \u2018the talk\u2019 with you yet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe talk? You say it like it\u2019s some big deal,\u201d the boy replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI suppose for a parent, it is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo, that older kid told me it was sex. Then he used another word that didn\u2019t sound so nice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cListen to me son, you are never to use that word, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAmong adults it\u2019s a foul word. You remember me explaining to you about that word, foul, right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight. No man wants to be foul, especially around women,\u201d the boy replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight. Good. You\u2019ll sound like a foul person if you use that word,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGot it. So, what was that\u2026\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dad put his hand up, interrupting his son. He took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts. \u201cThis all boils down to an act,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAn act?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight. It is something that a man and a woman agree do together. An act,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t understand,\u201d the boy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou will, son. But first, there are two ways to look at it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTwo ways?\u201d the boy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes. The first is simply the act itself. For its own sake. For satisfaction,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay.\u201d The boy looked bewildered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe second way is an act of love,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLove?\u201d The boy looked at him, eyebrows raised. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes son, love for a woman.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA woman? I\u2019m only twelve dad,\u201d he chuckled. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s right son, you shouldn\u2019t even be thinking about doing this act at your age. It doesn\u2019t matter what those foul boys say, don\u2019t let others coax you into doing something or looking at something you know you shouldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI won\u2019t. But, they did surprise me with it. I didn\u2019t ask to see it,\u201d the boy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYeah, they just wanted to shock you. If they are friends of yours, then I would consider whether or not you want to be seen like they are acting around school, which is definitely foul,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, they\u2019re not friends dad. Just dumb kids.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI agree. So back to \u2018the talk’,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight, love for a woman, when I\u2019m older,\u201d the boy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight. This act should be an act of love, not just satisfaction. Love should preclude it,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow do I know when I love someone?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGood question. Now you\u2019re thinking in the right direction. But, I can\u2019t answer that directly,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy not? I mean I need to know don\u2019t I?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes you do. And you will. You will know the feeling because it will be something you\u2019ve never experienced until the moment comes. It\u2019s like gravity. It\u2019s not something you can get away from and it\u2019s not something easy to describe. You\u2019ll just find yourself drawn to a girl for reasons you can\u2019t explain. You\u2019ll probably act silly trying to get her attention too,\u201d Dad laughed a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSilly? I don\u2019t know if I want to do this \u2018love act\u2019 thing. It doesn\u2019t sound fun. Can\u2019t I just avoid it?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, sure. Lot\u2019s of people do. But, you\u2019ll be missing out on one of the most wonderful aspects of life, son,\u201d Dad replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut I don\u2019t want to go around acting like a fool just for love!\u201d the boy exclaimed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo said just about every man alive.\u201d Dad smiled ruefully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh. So, there\u2019s no avoiding it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaybe\u2026\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow dad? How can avoid acting like a silly fool for love?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s really quite easy once you know. But you have to remember: Like comes before Love,\u201d Dad replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHmmm. Like before Love. Okay so what are you saying? That I should be friends with a girl before loving her?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSort of, yes. It is best to go slow. If you have feelings for someone, keep them to yourself at first. Blurting them out too soon is one way to look like a fool,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The boy sighed. \u201cOh, boy. This sounds complicated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt can be. But, holding back takes the pressure off. It allows you to get to know one another and see if there is any mutual \u2018like\u2019 there,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMutual like?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight. The girl you like should like you back,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh I see,\u201d the boy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf she doesn\u2019t but you keep after her, that is when you run the risk of crossing into \u2018fool\u2019 territory,\u201d Dad added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGot it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s not to say that if you really like a girl, you can\u2019t woo her,\u201d Dad continued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The boy turned his hands, a confused look on his face. \u201cWoo?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight. Wooing is how a man can win a girl\u2019s attention, and then maybe she likes him. In fact, many girls have so many boys that want to talk to them that they shut everyone out until they meet one in particular that stands out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWithout looking like a fool,\u201d the boy added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou got it!\u201d Dad said, glad to see his boy understood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo how do I do that?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dad deflated a bit. \u201cThis is the \u2018art\u2019 of it son. And very few guys know it. But mainly you have to keep your cool and simply talk to her, like you would any other friend. Get to know one another.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut what if she doesn\u2019t want to talk to me? I saw an older boy try to talk to an older pretty girl and she was really mean to him,\u201d the boy said, clearly troubled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYep. Girls can be mean. But look at it from their side. Boys go up to girls all the time and try to push their way into their lives without taking the time to try and get to know them,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFools,\u201d the boy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight son, fools,\u201d Dad paused. \u201cBut always remember kid, if a girl is mean to you, do not be mean back. Ever.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, why? You always taught me to stand up for myself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, but this is different. When you are trying to get to know a girl, especially at first, she may react differently than you would expect. Like I said before, look at it from her side. Just keep your manners and don\u2019t allow yourself to get upset.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s gonna be hard to do. It almost sounds scary going up to someone you don\u2019t know and trying to start talking right out of thin air,\u201d the boy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s probably how a girl would see it too.\u201d Dad chuckled again. \u201cSo, that is where the art of it comes in.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe art of it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight. If you like a girl, and want to talk to her to see if she likes you too, then you should be patient in how you approach her. Maybe take a moment to notice something about her that could start a conversation,\u201d Dad explained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLike what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, it\u2019s the same as when you talk to your guy friends. Like how you told me about meeting your best friend, Lyle. He was reading a comic book that you have too. You walked up and said as much and you\u2019ve been friends ever since.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh I see. I wasn\u2019t even thinking about it. I just started talking about something I liked and he liked it too. It was easy,\u201d the boy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow you see son. That is how it should go with a girl, too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut girls don\u2019t read comics, dad,\u201d the boy laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaybe some do. But girls read books. They have some of the same classes you do. Stuff like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHmm. Ok.\u201d The boy seemed lost in thought trying to absorb so much at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd make sure to introduce yourself at some point,\u201d Dad added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The boy sat back and thought to himself for a bit. \u201cWow dad, this is a long talk. And we haven\u2019t even answered my original question.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell son, I\u2019m trying to give you the big picture. \u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd what is that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, that \u2018act\u2019 is only part of what a relationship with a woman is,\u201d Dad said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, I see.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes and most boys, and even men, think that\u2019s all there is to it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The boy sat deep in thought for a moment. Dad let him process before he continued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The boy finally spoke up. \u201cSo I have to find the guts to start talking to a girl I like, wait to see if she likes me back, then get to know her like a friend, then how does it go from there to love to \u2026 \u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, that\u2019s the magic of it son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow there\u2019s magic too? First \u2018art\u2019 now this.\u201d The boy sat back exasperated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow you\u2019re getting it. See, this isn\u2019t as simple as that foul video would make you think. Boys and men for that matter shouldn\u2019t throw that stuff around like it means nothing. Because it does mean something. And this is a path you choose son. You can either have it mean something, or not.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDid it mean something with mom?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt meant everything son. Everything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat about that stupid video?\u201d the boy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, we\u2019ve talked about a lot and it seems you understand more. How about this. We\u2019ll talk more later and we\u2019ll get to that I promise. For now, just ignore that stuff. It\u2019ll do you no good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOk dad.\u201d And with that, the boy returned to his homework.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cDad, some older kids at school showed my something I don\u2019t understand.\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Dad asked. \u201cA video on a phone. A man and a woman were… were making weird sounds and\u2026 and they hardly had any clothes on!\u201d the boy exclaimed. Dad had to pause for a minute and take a deep breath. He […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":2,"menu_order":3,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-240","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\n